The Fake Form Company Form VI-001 · Rev. Never

Visitor Intake Division

Official Visitor Intake Form

Please state the nature of your visit. Take a number. There are no numbers.

The Fake Form Company makes official-looking paperwork for unofficial feelings: free forms to print, pranks to post, departments under review, and one book of more than 90 forms.

Reason for visit (check one)

Received
Please
advise.
Front cover of the book I’m Not Mad, I’m Documenting: opens the Amazon page Exhibit A · The book Get it on Amazon Already have it? Gift one to a coworker →
Section 1 · Now issuingForms not in the book

New forms. Not in the book.

Print on any office printer (US Letter, one page each). Fill in calmly. Leave on the relevant desk, keyboard, printer or coffee machine.

Free
  • Preview of The Accountability Target: a wall dartboard with wedges such as The Printer, The Previous Team and A Time Zone, and a bullseye reading Me, Quietly
    Form AT-665Wall game

    The Accountability Target

    Something went wrong and a name is required. Pin it up, throw a paper ball, announce the result calmly. Bullseye: “Me, quietly.”

    Get the PDF
  • Preview of a prank equipment notice reading Voice Activated: this printer now responds to spoken commands
    Form PR-310Prank

    This Printer Is Now Voice-Activated

    An equipment notice with the approved commands (“Print.” “Print, please.” “PRINT.”). Tape it to the printer. Stand nearby. Say nothing.

    Get the PDF
  • Preview of the Notice of Random Desk Inspection form with findings such as a pen from a hotel and a plant, status coping
    Form DI-350Prank

    Notice of Random Desk Inspection

    Leave it on a coworker’s desk while they’re at lunch. Findings include “a cable connected to nothing” and “a plant (status: coping).”

    Get the PDF
  • Preview of the Wastebasket Basketball scoresheet with five rules and a scoring table
    Form OA-380Game

    Wastebasket Basketball: Official Scoresheet

    The only sport that can be played during a meeting while appearing to take notes. Five rules, a score table, and a league status.

    Get the PDF
  • Preview of the Shared Coffee Pot Code of Conduct wall sign with seven numbered rules
    Form KR-275Wall sign

    Shared Coffee Pot Code of Conduct

    Seven rules, one sign, no excuses. Tape it above the coffee machine, at eye level, where the guilty will see it.

    Get the PDF
  • Preview of the Certificate of Completion for Mandatory Online Training
    Form CA-1015Certificate

    Certificate of Completion: Mandatory Online Training

    For everyone who clicked “Next” 61 times and passed the quiz on the second attempt, by process of elimination. Frame it anyway.

    Get the PDF

Photocopying permitted for official office nonsense: personal, non-commercial use. Please don’t sell them. We’d have to file something.

Section 2 · Under reviewForm BK-1040, continued

Other departments under review

The Fake Form Company is expanding. The following departments are currently circling back.

  • Dept. 01

    Official Forms for Healthcare Workers

    The charting alone…

    Status: Charting. Will finish charting at home.

    Under review
  • Dept. 02

    Official Forms for Teachers

    Includes the Parent Email Decoder.

    Status: Still grading.

    Under review
  • Dept. 03

    Official Forms for Remote Workers

    Camera-off edition.

    Status: On mute.

    Under review
  • Dept. 04

    Official Forms for Parents

    Bedtime negotiation treaties.

    Status: Negotiating one more chapter.

    Under review
  • Dept. 05

    Official Forms for Retirement

    The final out-of-office message.

    Status: Practicing the out-of-office message.

    Under review
  • Dept. 06

    Official Complaint Forms for Marriage

    Thermostat dispute included.

    Status: Under review by both parties.

    Under review
Form DR-001 · Department RequestThe Fake Form Company

Which department do you need most?

Pick one, leave an email, confirm it, and Form PT-345 (Vacation Coverage Handoff) is issued to you. Your choice is the vote: we’ll tell you when that department opens.

Department requested (check one)
We send one confirmation email, then Form PT-345. Nothing else until a department opens.

What happens next: we send one email to check it’s you. Click the button in it and Form PT-345, Vacation Coverage Handoff, is yours. After that, we write when a department opens and, at most, send the occasional bonus form. No schedule. No newsletter. No meetings. Unsubscribe with one click: it’s the fastest-processed form in this office. Privacy policy.

Received

Request filed. Check your inbox for a confirmation email (it may be hiding in Promotions). Click the button in it to receive Form PT-345.

Section 3 · The original fileFile no. IMD-001
Front cover of I’m Not Mad, I’m Documenting: a yellow incident documentation form with the title in large black capitals

Paperback · 112 pages · The Fake Form Company, Book 1

I’m Not Mad, I’m Documenting

Official Forms for Everything You Can’t Say Out Loud at Work

More than 90 forms, citations, signs and certificates for the reply-all, the microwave fish, and the meeting that could have been an email. Fill one in. Leave it on a keyboard. Walk away slowly.

  • Office-safe: no profanity
  • Professional-grade passive aggression
  • Photocopying permitted

Contents on file (a selection)

  • Notice of Reply-All Violation
  • Microwave Incident Report and Refrigerator Eviction Notice
  • Meeting Hostage Release Form and Meeting Bingo
  • Email Phrases & Their Actual Meanings (“per my last email,” decoded)
  • The Coworker Field Guide (you’ll recognize everyone)
  • Wall signs, the Decision Dartboard, and a Memo to Management with real citations
Get it on Amazon Gift one to a coworker

Comes with its own Official Gift Assignment Form on page 3 (To, From, Occasion). No card needed.

Already have a copy? An honest review wherever you bought it helps other exhausted professionals find it.